The Best Guacamole In The World

Everyone needs to realize that guacamole is mediocre if you don't make it correctly. I have tried hundreds of techniques and this by far is the best. It's a combination of a table side technique from Rosa Mexicana, an ancient molcajete recipe, and a lot of practice. Before you know it, you will be eating this as often as you can. Don't even try to pour salsa in crushed avocado and call it guacamole or I'll come over and kick your ass.

*A note about avocados. To find a ripe one at the market, you must lightly squeeze it. It may require that you feel up the entire bin until you find a good one. You will get stares from old ladies when you fondle all the avocados, but keep going until you get a good one.

Look for a dark one that's medium soft but not mushy. Then, when no one is looking, pop off that little stem button on the top. You should see green. If it's yellow/gray, it's not ripe. If it's dark, it's over ripe. The skin must be intact and have no cracks. 

If you find ones that are only slightly soft, just let them ripen on your kitchen counter and check them daily. Under ripe is better than over. Over ripened ones get black spots and then they're destined for the trash. You should not pay more than $2 for an avocado. And as most fruits and vegetables, Summer ones taste the best. Always buy 2 at a time just in case one is bad. You can eat the extra one the next day.

Servings: 2

Time: 10 minutes

Tools:

1 molcajete or large bowl

1 large spoon (wooden)

1 soup spoon (metal)

Fork

Ingredients:

1 ripe avocado

1 ripe plum tomato (these are firmer and easier to cut)

1 tablespoon onion

2 teaspoons FRESH lime juice

1/2 bunch Cilantro

1 small tomatillo

1/2 jalapeño or whole serrano pepper (optional)

Pinch Onion powder

Pinch Garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon Black pepper (or to taste)

1/4 teaspoon Salt (or to taste)

Bag of chips: Tostito's scoop chips are my favorite. The "hint of lime" chips are ok, but a novelty and mask the subtle flavors of the avocado. Stick with something traditional tasting.

Prep:

Remove husk and stem from tomatillo. Wash well and finely dice.

Wash cilantro, pepper and tomato and pat dry with paper towel.

Cut plum tomato lengthwise into quarters and discard all seeds and middle. Dry off then finely dice tomato by slicing lengthwise into strips and then across.

Finely dice onion, smaller the better but not pulverized.

Cut pepper lengthwise in half (only use half) and remove seeds and some of the white inner lining. For MUCH spicier guacamole, use entire pepper, but be warned, you will feel the pain. Finely dice as in the tomato.

Dice cilantro by bunching together in a ball and slicing carefully.

Finely dice entire small tomatillo.

Construction:

Muddle the cilantro by putting it in the molcajete or large bowl and adding the lime juice. Using the mortar or wooden spoon, crush the cilantro until it's completely pulverized into a green paste. Don't use too much lime juice. This is the most important step because you are changing the taste and chemical composition of the cilantro. If you hate cilantro you can skip this step. But see a psychologist because you are crazy and have issues.

Add all the remaining ingredients EXCEPT the avocado and stir up until 100% combined. It should smell great and fresh.

Cut the avocado in half and remove the giant seed by poking butt end of a sharp knife so it sticks in the seed and twist. Carefully remove seed from knife and discard. Remove stem bit if you didn't already.

Using a large soup spoon work it between the avocado and skin. It should come on in one piece. Put 1/2 avocado, flat side down on cutting board, repeat for other half.

Dice both halves into 1/2" pieces and put in molcajete or bowl. Using the pestle or a fork, crush up avocado so it's well mashed but a little chunky. Stir all together GENTLY with large wooden spoon.

Add additional salt and spices to taste. Remember that chips have salt on them.

Consume IMMEDIATELY.

Note: If you plan to keep this around for more than 5 minutes, put in in the smallest bowl you can find and squeeze a litle lime juice on top and cover tightly with plastic wrap. This will prevent browning. Refrigerate only if you must but cover and seal well.